Evil Geniuses
by Ranekaera
Summary: Evil genius doesn't have to mean heartless... Jumba, Pleakley and company are tasked by the grand councilwoman to go on a rescue mission to a distant plant and rescue another evil scientist before hell is unleashed upon the galaxy! Will they make it? Will Jumba be able to solve a mystery of his own? Read to find out! Rated T for now, may change in future
1. A visit from Turo

"JUMBA!"

The shrill cry that rang through the house reached the tall, four-eyed alien male, alright, but he was too engrossed in what he was doing to give an immediate response. He almost had it... just a few more little tweaks and it would be perfect.

"JUMBAAA!"

"What NOW? I am evil geniusing up here!" he bellowed at last, but he knew it'd be no use unless he actually confronted her. She was the older girl, the bigger sister Nani and he supposed she'd again taken fault with something he did... or something involving him. No respect for genius scientists anymore!

He flung open the door downstairs to see a red-faced Hawaiian woman with wavy brown hair and a livid glare on her face. In one hand she held experiment 626, also known as Stitch by the scruff of his fuzzy blue neck. Stitch, to his credit, was making no attempt to get down but giggling maniacally.

"CAN'T you do something about him? Ever since that Angel experiment decided to go help Lilo on her latest little job, he's been nothing but a home-wrecker!" Nani complained.

"He is probably just acting out," Jumba shrugged. "626 has confessed to being in love with one called Angel, why not let him go?"

"You KNOW why we couldn't let him go, we needed him here to meet with the grand councilwoman whenever she chooses to show up, so we sent Pleakley and Angel with her instead..." Nani scowled, tapping her foot. Stitch finally wriggled his way to the ground and skittered into another room. "Yeheehehe!"

"Uuuggh...". Nani flopped onto the couch.

Jumba sighed. Life had changed a lot since coming to stay here on Earth. He liked some things about it, tolerated the rest and truly only a few things really aggravated him about it. No matter what he said.

"Stitch will being fine as soon as Angel and little girl return. In meantime I am doing something super important and wish not to be disturbed!" he called out, and with that he shut the door and went back to his project.

Nani just flung a forearm over her eyes to shut out the light and groaned. If Lilo and the rest of their chosen ohana's lives had changed, hers certainly had. She'd had to go from a carefree 17-year-old to mom, guardian and responsible bread-winning big sister all in one twisted turn of fate, a feat she was only now getting into a rythm for. But she could do it. She had no choice. She couldn't very well let Jumba and Pleakley raise her; Pleakley, though responsible to a degree, was... well, Pleakley and Jumba would let her play with chainsaws if it were up to him.

From just outside she heard the telltale sounds of very large engines, and distantly, the high pitched cackle of Stitch exclaiming over something. The grand councilwoman must be here.

"I'll be around back!" she called to Jumba's closed door, and she jogged out the front door and around into the back acre or so where Jumba normally kept the giant red monstrosity of a ship stashed. It was still a "bed and not-breakfast" for whatever reason. Parked not that far away from it was a smaller but no less grand ship and standing in front of it was a very tall, slim, athletically-built alien woman. She had legs sort of like a dog, ending in hooves and olive-shaded skin with a bald head and a regal facial expression. Her voice normally inspired calm whenever Nani had heard it. She was speaking to Stitch, two silent white-garbed aliens at her side.

Nani jogged up and the councilwoman fixed her with a penetrating black gaze. "Ah, you are Nani Pelekai," she said.

"Yes, I am Nani," she replied, trying to look gracious and not stressed, which was how she felt.

"Yes. As I told Dr. Jookiba when I contacted you all last week, I come here with a favor to ask of you in the hopes you could... assist me. It's a matter of somewhat delicate proportions and I don't wish it to become bigger in the eyes of the galactic federation...".

"Anything, ma'am," said Nani kindly, though she was intrigued. Some other dangerous mission for her seven year old sister to venture into outer space on with her genetically modified invincible koala?

The councilwoman handed Nani a small manilla folder with a stamp bearing the galactic federation's logo on the front. "I would like either Dr. Jookiba or Stitch and whomever he chooses to go on a ... a sort of rescue mission if you will for me. You will find all you need within that folder, and what ever you do, do not let its contents fall into bad hands. It should not be too difficult for one with your particular expertise,..." she looked now to Stitch with a ghost of a smile.

"Rescue? Lilo?" Stitch asked.

"No," said the councilwoman. "A scientist that we suspect is being forced to work under duress on a planer called Volenar, by the name of Dr. Fay".

Nani opened the folder out of curiosity and the first thing she was met with was a glossy eight by ten photograph, a very clear one, of an alien that looked so shockingly familiar that she almost dropped it.

"I see you grasp the delicacy of this operation then," nodded the councilwoman. "Good day, and good luck. I expect a full report within a week".

Nani didn't even watch her leave, or notice when Stitch clambered up onto her head to read over her shoulder. She was too shocked by the photograph of the scientist.

"It COULDN'T...".


	2. Mysterious folder

"JUMBA!"

She'd called his name the moment she stepped foot back into the house, the councilwoman's folder tucked safely under one arm.

There was a crash, smoke billowing from beneath his door and a few choise swear words in a tongue she couldn't translate. Swear words sounded like swear words no matter what language they were in. Jumba emerged a moment later wearing four-lensed goggles on his forehead, his face and much of his jacket covered in grime. When he bellowed, two very large, rounded teeth could be seen at the back of his mouth.

"WHAT?!"

Nani glowered at him and thrust the folder in his face. "READ IT," she hissed. She was furious! He was supposed be ohana and here he was withholding information! Something there was no way he COULDN'T know about.

Jumba irritatingly flicked the folder open and he saw what she had. That photograph. All the anger drained from his face, along with much of the color. He shook his head and peered at it. "Noo..." he said quietly. "It... it can't be. COULDN'T. Never! Where did you get this?" he demanded.

"The grand COUNCILWOMAN. She says it's a rescue mission. Something about this scientist working under duress on some planet called Volenar?" Nani tapped a foot impatiently. Most of the folder was written in alien dialect, so she left it up to Jumba to translate.

"Working under duress? It says here she's suspected of performing vivisections on tourists? And kidnapping stray puppies for illegal genetic experimentation? THAT... that is evil so evil even EVIL GENIUS SCIENTIST is not daring to be so evil!" Jumba protested.

"Why does she want us to save someone who cuts people open alive and kidnaps puppies?!" demanded Nani shrilly. No way could Lilo be exposed to something like that. Jumba was right, that went beyond evil. If this was all true... she didn't have to be rescued, she had to be stopped. But her face... it couldn't be.

"We go NOW," growled Jumba. "I will pack. You go and collect little girl and one eyed noodle," and he spun on his heel and slammed his door behind him.

Which was how, two hours later, Nani had Lilo under lockdown in her bedroom dome and had insisted that Stitch and Pleakley go with Jumba alone. No WAY was she putting her little sister in that much danger. Which would explain a lot, as she went upstairs an hour after they all left to bring her dinner only to find her gone.

"LILOOO!" she howled.

But Lilo and company had vanished beyond all realm of human hearing.

They were among the stars. Jumba was driving, and had entrusted the folder only to Pleakely, who was not being his usual cheery self. Lilo was a little annoyed that neither of them would tell her who it was they were rescuing.

"Another experiment?" she asked Jumba. The ship flew past a beautiful nebula of swirling orange and pink stars and Jumba sighed. "No, little Lilo, not another experiment. Another evil scientist," and that was all he would say on the matter.

As he flew, he tried to think of when and how it was possible that this Dr. Fay even existed at all, and if so, and if she was who he thought she was, WHY get mixed up in workings that were so evil even he would never attempt them? Volenar was a planet under siege, last he had heard. It had been invaded by its allies and burned to the ground, repurposed for other things while the natives had either been killed or forced into servitude. They did not look much like this Dr. Fay.

"When we get there, just let ME do all the speaking," he glanced sideways at Pleakley. He gave an extra hard glare at 626. "This ESPECIALLY means YOU," he reiterated.

Stitch's ears fell a little and Lilo folded her arms and pouted. "How come Pleakley gets to know and WE don't?" she insisted.

Jumba piloted the ship towards a distant planet that looked mostly grey. "Because," he said, "Big sister would not be happy knowing that you had seen things no little girl should ever see. There is REAL evil in the world," he said, his accent getting a little thicker. "Evil that she would not want little girl exposed to."

Pleakley nodded back at the pair of them. "Just stay with me, and let him do all the smooth talking."

Lilo sighed. "Oh okaaay".

Unfortunately it didn't go quite that smoothly.


	3. Dr Fay

The customs ordinance around the planet had been fashioned on a space station that encircled the entire planet like a giant sattelite; no one got on or offworld without going through here first. Their ship was searched for illegal contraband or weapons before it was allowed to pass through and Jumba piloted it expertly to the drop location specified in that damned folder. It was a genetics laboratory that took up what looked like more acreage than the entire island they lived on back on Earth. It was uniformly built and sterile-looking and he noticed that it was being patrolled outside by armed guards.

"Do not be attracted unwanted attention, " he whispered to Stitch and Pleakley. Pleakley nodded and held Lilo's hand, but Stitch just growled. "Nala creesta," he muttered.

"Shush!" Jumba hissed as they disembarked.

The guards noticed them coming and one held up a hand. The guards were natives here, obviously enslaved. Slave rings wound around both their wrists, ankles and throats, simple little bands of metal that delivered painful shocks when disobedient. They stood tall and slender, graceful, with two digigrade-jointed legs ending in three clawed feet, two normal looking arms, torsos and heads with very large, liquid looking eyes and horns portruding from the tops of their skulls. They both wore uniforms.

"Halt! State your business here" said one of them.

Jumba sighed heavily and looked around at his ohana, one of which he'd personally created and one of whom was just a little child. He looked back around at the guards.

"We are here for to be seeing Dr Fay".

"Identification?"

"Dr. Jumba Jookiba and Wendy Pleakley,".

"And guests!" piped Lilo with a smile. She had no idea where they were or specifically why.

There was a very pregnant pause.

"Go on in, down the hall, to the right and as far back as you can go. She's in the southern labs today," said the other guard, and they opened the door.

Jumba walked in, followed by his ohana minus Nani, and looked around despite himself. The ceiling was impossibly high and everything inside was as white as bleached paper, and so clean looking. He smelled the familiar scents of chemicals, cleaners... all smells a lab should have. Even a little explosive powder, heheh.

He made sure to follow directions and soon enough they came to the door in question. There was an EXIT door that led to the back of the building jut across the hall, but not just yet. He made a note of it and so, he was impressed, did Stitch, following his gaze.

He opened the door and saw three long white tables all heavily loaded with scientific equipment. There were tubes that took up room from floor to ceiling on the far left, all surrounded by what looked like state of the art enzyme sequencers, nanocomputer generators, scales, in short everything needed to do pretty much anything one wanted. Including cloning. Highly impressive... but he had to remind himself they were here on a mission.

"Can I... help you?" asked a bored-sounding voice. It came from another of Volenar's nativee inhabitants, this one shorter, dressed in a white lab coat. His horns swept straight back and his eyes were pupil-less and green.

"We're here to see Dr Fay!" said Lilo brightly. She moved to the forefront, giving the man her best 'cute little girl' look, bit brown eyes and sappy smile all the way. The man looked a little taken aback. "Ah, er... she's ah... over there," he pointed with a clipboard.

The room was full of these native aliens, all of them with backward-facing legs and horns. The woman he pointed to was sat at a table of computer banks at the moment, with her back to them. All they could see of he rat the moment were her horns, which looked a little curvy, and a long mane of thick, violently-violet hair that fell down her back restrained only by a rubber band.

Jumba made his way over, aware of what she looked like but hoping that the folder had gotten everything wrong. Not because he didn't wish it, or want it but because it would mean that he had been lied to, deceived and cheated of a golden opportunity.

"We're here to rescue you!" whispered Pleakley to the woman. She had been typing but at this, she froze and sat up straighter. Then she stood and when she faced them, Lilo oggled her and Stitch's jaw fell.

Dr Fay did not look much like her fellows. She had the basic body structure, but she was both shorter and stockier than they, busty with a pudgy little belly, wide hips and curved back wavy horns and yes, she had hair. It began between the horns in a great V shape that followed the markings on her dusky grey-purple skin. THe lighter markings down her neck and collar were a paler lavender color. She had an underbite, small pointed fangs curving just over her upper lip. And when she took her goggles off, her eyes... there was no denying it.

"You're,... you look like...Jumba," said Lilo, tilting her head.

The woman had four eyes. Two very large bright green ones where they would normaly be, and towards the center versus the outside, two smaller ones, without pupils. She wasn't very pretty but there is a certain kind of cuteness in even the ugliest of things, as is evident by those people who love sharpei puppies or hairless cats. She wouldn't be winning any beauty pageants but there was no denying she was his. And in the back of his mind it meant he didn't care what she looked like. How had it even been possible?

The woman frowned at them all and then looked at Jumba. Her eyes (all of them) narrowed slightly and then widened. "Are you all crazy?" she whispered.

"Nah. Evil genius scientist and intergalactic babysitter," replied Pleakley. "Can we talk AFTER we escape the clutches of evil?"

Stitch crawled in between all of them and clawed his way up the woman's pants leg and onto her shoulder to read the name stitched into her jacket.

"Hey, what the-?"

Stitched there was the name Fay Leroyan-Jookiba.


End file.
